campyvillain:

campyvillain:

campyvillain:

patrick bateman: *licks a strawberry icecream he got from an icecream truck* hm yummy ice cream

his internal monologue: look at me . eating processed flavoring. There is no strawberry in here. It’s but a pastiche of the real deal. An ice cream with artificial flavoring, a momentary joy. Tested countless times in a lab, masquerading as if it’s authentic, genuine. Me and a strawberry icecream are alike in that sense: gentle on the outside, palatable and unassuming. The only difference is that I don’t come with nutrition facts advising of any warning signs concerned parents will scan over, and by the time I strike, itll be too late

disclaimer i have never seen this movie I just think the soul of this guy possessed me

disclaimer revoked i just watched this movie and this was dead on

(via sarcasticcollegestudent)

internetwes:

(via mxwormie)

greelin:

i’m sincerely always saying this

(via sarcasticcollegestudent)

ryebreadgf:

i love tumblr because of the close-knit community of girls who have never gotten over anything ever not even a little

(via leggylift)

rigid-angel:

(via lesbian-toddhoward)

actually i experience “body horror” every day. because. um. i have one

(via affa9262)

fancyson:

fancyson:

one thing you need to know about me is that i am constantly having insane galaxy genius ancient greek philosopher level thoughts about everything ever all the time but before leaving my mouth they get filtered through seven layers of autism and come out sounding like a youtube comment made by a nine year old

(via bullshitpringlesapologist)

mrs-kelly:

iwilleatyourenglish:

iwilleatyourenglish:

also been like… meticulously screenshotting convos with my boyfriend for two months because i felt like maybe i was exaggerating how often he did one specific thing but no

sdklfhjkskjfgh

(via astrokat7)

great-and-small:

mr-gill:

mr-gill:

mr-gill:

crab uber

LITERALLY crab uber

Nvm, crab cab

Crustacean transportation

(via astrokat7)

foulserpent:

ambergrief:

it straight up smells like spiders in here

(via rbthemad)

funnytwittertweets:

(via actuallyyangxiaolong)

escuerzoresucitado:

(via charlesoberonn)

fandomsandfeminism:

seelcudoom:

sometipsygnostalgic:

jamsofdeath0:

sometipsygnostalgic:

jamsofdeath0:

Marceline from Adventure Time is like the ultimate OC. She is a half vampire half human with Mommy and daddy issues but she has daddy issues twice cuz she had two dads.

Actually, Marceline is Half Human and Half Demon and lived through the apocalypse when she was 4 and was turned into a Vampire when she killed the vampire king

That’s literally worse. This is what I was talking about lmao

also shes a famous rock star

And married to a princess

And I love her

(via satansdoggy)

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva:

sketiana:

sketiana:

ashsgmafhfjssfhahfhfsfhaah

you probably never heard of this book but im done gatekeeping it *shows the cover of crime and punishment fyodor dostoyevski*

(via satansdoggy)

teathattast:

(via satansdoggy)